Completely Oblivious in Culpeper…or, Did That Really Just Happen?

Something happened to me yesterday that never happens to me. I mean never. I’ve heard of this happening, you know, to other people…but not to me. Ok, I take that back, it happened to me once in a grocery store when I was about twenty-one. I was hit on while running an errand.

Maybe I’m just oblivious. Maybe it happens and I just don’t recognize it happening. That’s exactly that happened yesterday.  I walked into the bank, which I never ever do. I always go through the drive-through or run to the ATM, but I’d gotten off work early and decided to run in really quickly and do what I needed to do, despite being dressed in workout clothes and coming straight from the gym. I stepped out of line to grab a deposit ticket and filled out the pertinent information and quickly stepped back in line. Who knew the bank would be hoppin’ at 3:30 on a Friday afternoon? I jumped back into line as I saw someone walk in and get ahead of me out the corner of my eye while I was filling in the deposit ticket.  So, there I am, standing there in tight workout clothes, and the guy in front of me turns around and asks me if our old ATM cards would work since the bank was recently bought out by a new company. So I’m standing there talking to him, as the line slowly moves forward and the guy starts telling me he’s divorced. Which at the time, I thought was odd, I thought Why is this stranger telling me he’s divorced? So, we’re standing there and he’s making small talk and we get up to the front of the line and he turns and looks at me and says, “So, do you have any plans for the weekend?” So I smile and say I’m not really sure what I’m doing, but that it’s supposed to be beautiful. And then, it’s his turn and he goes up to the front of the bank. So there I am, standing in line with a puzzled look on my face putting together the pieces of the puzzle: he told me he’s divorced and that he lives in town, he just asked me about my weekend…was I just hit on?

 

I finished my business at the bank, hopped in the car and immediately called one of my best friends at work. As soon as I told her that he told me he was divorced, Christina responds with, “You realize that was your opening, right?” It was? When it comes to men, am I completely retarded: I literally have no know-how.  Maybe, this doesn’t happen enough for me to realize when an opportunity presents itself? Or, do opportunities present themselves more often than I realize and I’m just too oblivious to realize it? I talked with my mom about it and, God love her, she looked at me and said, “Well, maybe he does that to everyone? Did he look simple?” Thanks, Ma. Am I alone in this? Or, is anyone else out there as oblivious as me? If this happens again, how can I know it’s happening so that I can respond appropriately?  Evidently I need a 101 course in human interaction.